An artist to-morrow and an artist yesterday - but never and artist to-day

When I introduce myself, I say I am a teacher. I list painting and drawing as a hobby. But I never tell people I am an artist. Quite the contrary, I will deny any title that labels as me as such. But why? After all when I was in High School I toyed with the idea of being a painter by night and a teacher by day. I did go to art school, I spent a month painting in Paris, I have a studio in my apartment. So why do I furiously deny anyone who dare say I am an artist? I think being an artists is like being in love, either you are or you are not. It is a state of being. I don't "feel" like an artist, and I have not achieved anything as an artist...yet... Instead, I feel like a talented, creative, individual, on the cusp of what could be a great teaching career. Maybe tomorrow I might feel differently, maybe tomorrow I will be an artist. But certainly not today....

There is nothing...

...quite like falling in love in Brooklyn...

The Legitimacy of Painting

She said children love to paint because it brings legitimacy to their work. Painting connects them to that long artistic tradition with the likes of Picasso, van Gogh and Matisse. Is that why I have such a hard time letting go of oils as a medium? I was after all taught that great artists paint in oils. You cannot call yourself a painter if you do not paint in oils. Even the artists I most admire, call themselves illustrators, not artists or painters. Is it because they feel the same way? That because they use watercolor or ball point pen that they are not worthy of the term artist? And why do I continue to struggle with oils, knowing I could much better results in the other mediums I have learned and love?

It is always possible to start over...

The best thing about life is that it is always possible to start over. It may not always be a fresh page, but it is a new start none the less. This is my new start, and it's a start that is built on top of my mistakes. But learning from your mistakes creates a strong foundation to grow on. And so it begins...

Ok. I lied.

I am a bad blogger. Fine. I'm sure your bad at some stuff too. But Hey!!! Look!!!! I come with hair updates!!!!

I am about 3 weeks into my locing progress, and I have some nice (albeit dirty) new growth.


root shot, 2/4

I've already washed and twisted my hair once, and I will do so again this weekend after my ski trip. I'm hoping the chlorinated water from the indoor pool will promote spontaneous locing and I will have beautiful long locs by the time I get back *le sigh*. So here is some visual goodness:

This is the last set of TST I will ever put in, Jan 17, 2009

Root Shot:


First Washing, 1/26



root shot:

Big decisions for '09: Locs

After experiencing some serious loc envy of my dad, girls on the train, and Lauryn Hill, after toying with the idea for a few months, I have decided to loc my hair. Last night I put in my last set of two strand twists. As much as I love my twist-outs i cant take the combing and re-twisting any more. And i have seen people who got their locs into BEAUTIFUL spiral curls, so I'm not giving up much.

While researching locs, I learned that I am a product junky. Right now I have 2 different bottles of shampoo both half filled, and 3 bottles of conditioner, and several different types of twist gels. I decided that I am gona give up as many products as I can in favor of all natural and or homemade products. My first test:
A Honey Olive Oil twist gel.
2 tbsp Aloe Vera gel
1 tbsp of Olive Oil
1 tsp of honey.
1 vitamin E capsule
next time add: a few drops of maybe lavender EO
Pros: Holds like white on rice.
Cons: I don't like the smell, but a little bit of essential oil should fix that next time. It also got sticky after a while and I had to keep a wet towel handy to wipe my hands on so I didn't gunk up my hair.
Verdict: I will keep using it, it held really well and my hair feels really nice.

I will keep you guys posted on how things are going, and as soon as I get back home form Ganny's house, I will upload some pics.

Lifesavers...

don't actually save lives. In fact, the increase your risk of death by dentist by 56% per package eaten. Gummie Bears on the other hand are quite handy in tight situations.

I can't draw. Honestly, I can't...

I really should draw more, but every time I pick up a moleskine and a pen, I get scared. I used to draw all the time, but now I'm lucky if I can scratch out doodle. Even my etsy shop is suffering from my inability to draw. Its like 3.5 years of at school has rendered me incapable of making art. Ironic aint it?

"I wish I could have told you..."

....that I didn't like the way you said it. It was mean, even if you where joking. Or maybe I am just too sensitive. But I still think it was mean, and you shouldn't say such things. It hurts peoples felings. Maybe I'm too considerate, or maybe your not considerate enough. Maybe it would have been different if you would have said it in a funny voice, or with a stupid look on your face. Then maybe my feelings wouldn't hurt, and I wouldn't be writing this...

The proverbial tree in the forest

In 1984 O'Brien tells Winston that before man there was nothing and after man, if he could come to an end, there will still be nothing. So according to O'Brien, if there is no man in the forest, there is no tree. But what if a woman was in the forest? Or a child?

Surfing in the dead of night.

Last night I went surfing on a surfboard that was made of of paper covered in contact paper supported by a wooden dowel. It was about as tall as I am and about 3 or 4 inches wide. There was also a shark in the water (which was in my sister's bedroom and from the side looked like a day bed and from the front looked like and ocean) who was very nice, and invited me to eat smores on the beach, it was quite wonderful actually.

You Never Get It Quite Right

If a scene is memorable, you never remember it right. It's a film lovers
paradox

disappointment

tastes like dirty nickels.

Some good advice by Kurt Vonnegut

"I urge you to please notice when you are happy, and exclaim or murmur or think at some point, 'If this isn't nice, I don't know what is.'"

"That is my principal objection to life, I think: It's too easy, when alive, to make perfectly horrible mistakes."

"Literature should not disappear up its own asshole, so to speak."

"All persons, living and dead, are purely coincidental."

"We must be careful about what we pretend to be."

Old Boyfriend #2

(They just keep falling out the wood work)

I remeber nothing but sweetness, you representing to me the peferct, tender, wild abondon of adolencent foreplay. And even though I always suspected you of cheating, there is no bitterness, because in my mind, anything that went wrong with us was more of a result of my childhood insecurites then anything you ever did.

Quote of the day

"Offensive is frequently but a synonym for unusual."
Lolita
Vladimir Nabokov

I was wondering...

Why is it easier to write in Starbucks then it is to write at home?

Love

Love is like chocolate, great in moderation, but too much can lead to
cavities and tummy aches.

The meaning of life is?

In about a hour and 21 minutes, I will be 21. I want to share with you, the things I've learned during my 2 decades on earth. (disclaimer: side effects may include: unexpected results, upset stomach, increase in sexual desire, and further disillusionment. Please read at your own risk.)

1. Its naive to think you can change a person, and usually a waste of time to wait for someone else to change.

2. 95% of what the government says is a lie. The other 5% is pure fantasy.

3. You are never to young to start wearing deodorant.

4. Breakfast can be eaten at any time of day.

5. Karma is real, and working overtime.

6. Sharing is caring and STD's last a life time.

7. Your only (insert age here) once. Live it up.

8. Chocolate once a day keeps the doctor away.

9. Read!

10. You always have more to learn.

And finally, love (and chocolate) is the key to everything.

You're all moldy anyway.

Old boyfriends are like old bread and both are bad for you. They leave you with a bad taste in your mouth, a bad tummy ache, and all sorts of sordid memories of the girl you used to be and the sandwich you never finished cause the bread is moldy. Don't eat old bread or old boyfriends. You have been warned....